Hard Times

Last night when Joshua and I got to bed he asked, "Why does it seem like we are just going through a hard time lately"? Meaning - why are we just argueing with each other on a daily basis right now. 

I simply responded, "Because we are. We are both exhausted and neither of us have slept more than 2-3 hours at a time in almost 6 months".

He just said, " Yeah I suppose".

For the last few weeks I have been down in the dumps so to say. I am tired, we are broke, and every time we start to get ahead something happens - such is life, I know, stop complaining. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for my time with Rory and Joshua reminds me a few times a week how lucky I am and how jealous he is that I get to be home all day with her. Sometimes being home all day with her - like this past - week is more stressful to me than going to work every day.

I miss being able to talk to people in person. Since I had Rory we have gone out with friends twice. Once when she was almost two week old I went to dinner with a friend  and then last week we went to the same friends house for a bbq. I have also taken a few walks with a good girlfriend of mine here but we have conflicting schedules (meaning she works) and it's just been plain to hot out. Not to mention she is pregnant with a two year old and I have an infant. I am a social person and being cooped up in this house has not been good for my attitude AT ALL. I tell you what - my SIL is a saint. I don't know how she does it with three kids AND she home schools. Right now with the way I'm feeling home schooling is out of the  unless it involves traveling for lessons which would just be awesome but that's for another post and time.

I am going back home to Ohio August 22nd - 29th and am very much looking forward to it. I haven't been home in over two years now and miss a lot of people there. Miss Rory and I will be flying which should make an interesting trip. I have only flown once before alone and that was my last trip home.

You know, as I sit here and type up all of this, in the back of my mind I keep telling myself to get over it. At least my husband is here and not half a world away. Yes, we may be financially strapped but I'm not worrying every day about what my husband and father of our daughter is doing or if he's okay. I have a few friends whose husbands are deployed and their hearts ache every day and all they want to do is see their husbands again. 

So here is where I end this post. I can not sit here and moan and groan about life any longer but I also can not keep this bottled up inside. I do lead a good life, there just seems to be a few bumps in the road at the moment. Bumps we can get over.

This is Rory today. Even with her fits she is still the happiest little girl I know. I wouldn't trade our sleepless nights for anything in the world.